To Gain Someone's Trust
by Rabenschwarz
Summary: Takes place after the events of 6x17. When Kai fails to survive on his own in the prison world of 1903, Bonnie is forced to go back and treat his wounds to ensure the safety of all members of the Gemini Coven, also pursuing an own agenda. While staying there, she begins to realize that the sociopath who didn't care about anyone but himself has changed more than she wants to admit.
1. Apology

**Lovely Bonkai fandom, **

**This is the second fanfiction I have ever written and I didn't have much feedback on the first one, so I don't have a clue if I'm doing it right. if there's something that needs revision you can tell me of course. But please be gentle. After the last episode of The Vampire Diaries had ended with a pretty mean cliffhanger I had this strange itch in my fingers. And of course I had to do something about it, so here you go. Enjoy!**

Kai was not surprised when he got lost in the forest. Fog hid the tree tops and mixed with the white color of snow. Everything looked the same, nothing stood out. His sense of orientation went missing as soon as he was outside of that hellhole, where a supposedly mummified vampire had almost sucked his brains out.

Now he could hardly breathe, his lungs had completely dried up. As soon as he sucked in air he started to cough so hard that his lips got bloodied from it, leaving a metal taste on his tongue. It was almost surreal in some way. First, he got tricked by the person he was – admittedly still – infatuated with. Bonnie. He wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, when he thought about the witch. She literally stabbed him in the back today. He spit blood. She was such a–

Kai froze. He almost forgot about the second thing but there it was. His eyes tried to focus but his vision stayed blurry, no matter how hard he tried to zero in on a mummified Dracula. Something had moved. His senses picked up a faint noise. His head whipped around in its direction but it was already hard to make out anything that wasn't in the radius of two feet.

Shaking his head he began to run again, clutching his neck with one, his churning stomach with his other hand. And all of a sudden he felt a force clutching his shoulder so painfully hard that his eyes rolled up for a moment. He stumbled, almost losing consciousness, when he felt that sharp teeth were lightly grazing upon his skin.

He punched the vampire as hard as he could with his elbow, his legs forsaking him in the process, so that he landed in cold snow in the process. His magic was cursing through him, violently rattling his insides. But as of now he couldn't grasp it. Too many thoughts were jolting through his head and he was lacking concentration, so his instincts were taking over.

Kai tried to reach for something while blocking out the raspy laughter of his opponent, as well as the hard punches his body had to endure while bathing his body in cold snow. He lost his coat along the way, so his arms were exposed to icy wind which felt like thousands of needles piercing through his exposed skin all at once. But all his pain was gone when he his fingers hit something hard. And while trying to push the –because of his state pre 'having Kai Parker for wine and dine' – still sluggish vampire off his body Kai could gather enough magic in his fingertips to make use of telekinesis.

„Modus", Kai whispered lifting the rock in the air with an invisible force, all the while kicking and scratching the vampire so often that it got off his body and away from his arteries. The rock hit the monster hard on its head that it fell gracelessly to the ground. But Kai knew better than to leave that thing that way. And he almost felt sorry when he got up to his feet, staggering up to the next tree and breaking off one of its smaller branches. With a force beyond his strength he rolled the filthy beast on its back exposing its ribcage and neck just enough so that he could let the tiny piece of wood pierce through the skin of its throat. Kai almost recoiled when it gaped and panted. The vampire's wide open eyes looked straight back at his.

And Kai saw fear in them, he saw remorse and the shrinking of its pupils had 'panic' written all over them. He felt a weird sensation in his stomach when he whispered „Modus" again, letting the splinters of wood wander through the already half dead body. And when they reached its, no his – this man's – heart Kai felt something wet streaming down his own cheeks. His entire body felt as if it was on fire. Cruel voices began screaming at him.

„Monster", they said. „Murderer", even. Guilt over flooded him in a surge. He did understand why nobody believed that he changed. He was still the same evil, gruesome cockroach that he had always been. Nothing's changed. Nothing would change.

Kai stood up, tried to relocate his footsteps so that he could go back to the mansion and warm himself up. He needed some rest. The thoughts that consumed him were far too pessimistic for his liking. But as he tried to move forward, it became evident that he would never make it while being in this condition.

Was it strange for him to hope that he wouldn't die for the sake of his Coven? Of course, he couldn't care less about daddy Joshua but the pregnancy of Jo felt somehow – would 'disturbing' fit as a description for the tumult that currently surged through his body? Probably not. Kai didn't know where he was going. He didn't know what was happening around him. All he knew was that a death as pathetic as this one was an unacceptable ending to his story. He was not one to give up. He would fight. Kai had taken on a vampire when his clothes had already been gushing red. He was strong. And powerful. A walk through the woods was nothing compared to what he had endured before. „I'm sorry", he screamed. „I'm sorry" He couldn't hold back the tears, even though they disgusted him. He was sorry. But that didn't make a difference. The words didn't change anything.

It was noon when he finally woke up. When he opened his eyes they wouldn't adjust to the light right away, so he could only make out a faint outline of his surroundings. His throat felt kind of sore, his head was heavy. He was snuggled down in a blanket, his fingers dug into a soft mattress. The smell of hot peppermint tea penetrated his stuffy nose. Holding his pounding head he sat up slowly, trying to make sense of his peculiar surroundings.

„How did I-", he began but was interrupted by a voice that he knew all too well.

„You didn't" Kai immediately blinked, squinting against the sunlight that shone through the windows of the old Salvatore mansion.

„Bonnie", he breathed. „Why did you-", but he was interrupted again.

„Don't read too much into it." She seemed more closed off than ever. Her eyes were hooded. She looked as if she didn't know what to do with herself, pacing back and forth, looking anywhere but at him. Had she cried? Kai wasn't entirely sure and something in his stomach kept nagging on his conscience.

„Am I dead?" It was a stupid question but he was hyperventilating. His head felt like it had been boiled to a mash.

„No", she snapped angrily, clutching her torso as soon as the words came out. As if she was hurt. He wanted to ask whether she was ok but that would be a dumb question regarding that she obviously wasn't. She also didn't really seem to be wounded, so there had to be another reason for her behavior and for her to even be here.

„Was I dead?", Kai then croaked. A cough followed suit. He immediately thought about the Gemini Coven, how every member was linked to him, how everybody would perish if his heart stopped beating, even for a second.

„No" She shook her head, annoyed. „But almost. Jo had been coughing blood and was on the brink of death. That's why I had no other choice but to come back and treat your wounds" The heavy silence that followed was unbearable. Her still clutching her torso and him looking like a lost puppy, nestled in a rose blanket. It was an odd scenario, one that neither of them felt comfortable to be in.

„So you know about me being essential for the lives of the rest of the Gemini Coven" He tried to sound casual but it came out bitter, his expression rancorous.

„Learned about it almost too late", she answered quickly, sucking in a deep breath. He glowered at her. The worry for the well being of his so-called family had been gone the moment he knew that his condition hadn't been that critical. A couple of scratches here and there wouldn't kill his sister. He knew as much.

Before he had the time to over think his next statement the words spluttered out like a cannon. „So you still hate me but can't feed your sadistic side by torturing me, because that could put your ...friend's friend's acquaintances in danger? Sucks to be you"

At that Bonnie averted her eyes. Something in him stirred. Was it guilt again? He wanted to punch himself. More like the burning of sheer curiosity. Had something changed? Had she finally forgiven him after she had her revenge or was it still not enough to quench her thirst?

„You know", she started, gulping. „What I did to you-"

„-Was only fair, I know. It also sucks to be me, apparently" He wanted to roll his eyes but he still felt a little too dizzy to show off about how the fact that that she abandoned him didn't affect him at all. But right now it was too hard to pull off any lie. He was tired of lying. Too much thinking, too little use.

„No, it wasn't fair. I realized that too late" Bonnie bit her lip, having an inner monologue whether she should sit down on the couch beside him or remain at a safe distance from him. In the end she decided to make herself comfortable on the sofa. Maybe comfortable wasn't really the word she was searching for. She was pretty sure that she looked like she was in the midst of a swarm of hornets – very fraught. Kai didn't know what to say. He wanted to grin like an idiot that she came back for him but shyness – something he didn't know was in him – overtook his feelings and he remained silent.

„They told me about how you are one of the main reasons I survived the loneliness in 1994. You made it all possible. I still live, because you helped me. And in the end I got out. I survived" Her voice was small. And when she stopped looking up at him with those big brown chocolate eyes, he believed for a moment that she would suddenly snap and drive another stake through his stomach but nothing happened.

They sat there awkwardly, embedded by the warm sunlight of the 1904 prison world. He wanted to ask whether she would allow him to go home but there had been many things that he had wanted to say already and his courage was somehow lacking these days. He was more prone to 'feelings' and 'compassion' that were turning his already chaotic mind into a thunderstorm. These changes made him more careful in his word choice and actions. He thought about others, felt a peng in his chest, when he did something that hurt other people.

„I'm sorry", he told her instead of asking questions to ease his own inquisitiveness. „I'm really sorry, Bonnie"

„You already said that" She was rigid, her eyebrows were drawn together in deep thought, her hands idly resting on her lap.

„I know but I still want to apologize", he insisted.

But she shook her head and this time he could see tears in her eyes. „No. I mean, you said it like a thousand times while I dragged you back here. You just kept saying it over and over again, even after your voice was used up and gone. You just wouldn't stop"

He wanted to apologize again, for what he wasn't sure but it seemed like these were the only words worth uttering in her presence. What else was there to say that wouldn't make her hate him even more? „I'm sor-"

„Stop saying you're sorry!" She screamed so loud that he was scared the window glass would crack. Then she breathed, hard and let her shaking fingers glide through her dark hair. Panting, she stood up. „I need a drink"

He heard her hurried steps as she entered the kitchen, listened to her rummaging around in the cupboards and counters, opening and closing doors. And before he knew it, sleep overtook him in the most inconvenient situation which he could have chosen to let reality slip away.


	2. Truth

**Dear Bonkaiers,**

**I am very thankful for your support and nice reviews. One of you mentioned that there was a problem with the quotation marks in the first chapter and I've fixed it before it was able to lay eggs. I feel the need to apologize for that mistake. I'm from Germany and the quotation marks there are a little different from the ones in English speaking countries. Here's my new chapter. It's a little longer than expected. I hope it's not too much. Enjoy!**

Kai woke when it was already dark outside. He could see the northern lights through the dusty old windows of the mansion, green and pale red lights that snaked their way through the starless black sky. His head still felt heavy, his muscles ached when he moved. Kai looked around, searching for Bonnie but she was nowhere to be seen. Silence coated the room with discomfiture. He began to feel uneasy when the only sound coming from his surroundings was the light ticking of a clock.

Of course he didn't leave out the possibility that Bonnie left him alone again after bandaging his wounds and giving him some medicine. He smiled when he spotted two plastic bottles filled with pain killers, relieved that her being here hadn't been a dream. But still, had she gone back without him or had she stayed in another room? His throat was completely dried out, his tongue tasted mealy. Kai's legs had cramped completely while he had been asleep – at least they didn't hurt anymore.

"Bonnie?", he called, disrupting the tranquility. "Are you still here?"

He felt somehow defeated and even a little betrayed when she failed to materialize in front of him. Maybe she hadn't heard him, he supposed. Or maybe she went out hiking. The possibility of it was enough to keep his mood from getting sour. He made his way to the kitchen with drooping shoulders dragging his feet across the floor. Of course there was no fridge and he failed to make out a microwave. His stomach growled hungrily when Kai began searching for something eatable. To his own bewilderment and the dismay of his stomach he had to settle for a very peculiar snack – paper. While ripping blank sheets and stuffing them into his mouth Kai couldn't help but chuckle about the many odd situations he was always putting himself in. He felt like a magnet mostly attracting weirdness and bad luck. It really did suck to be him, he realized with a huff, still noisily chewing the paper he found on one of the kitchen counters.

Still tired he made his way back to the living room, when he had enough. The crumpled rose blanket that Bonnie had tucked him in has fallen on the parquet when he had gotten up for food. Kai was surprised that he had finally gotten some sleep, after daunting thoughts about Bonnie had deprived him of it for the last two weeks. He didn't want to read too much into it, maybe the medicine she had given him had some rather appealing side effects.

As he went over to the couch to pick up the blanket from the floor he felt a light unsettling breeze on his back. It didn't take long for him to realize that there was someone else in the room, someone supernatural that he would bet had very long and sharp canine teeth. It was completely dark now, only the silhouette of a crescent moon faintly illumined the room.

A force so vigorous that it knocked all the air out of his lungs tackled him to the hard wooden floor. He felt being lifted off the ground with surprising facility before he crashed into a big bookshelf feeling blood pouring out of his head. The ghastly apparition kicked him hard in his gut soon after, leaving Kai in excruciating pain. But he wasn't one to just give up. He still tried to stand up, even though he knew that this time he wasn't strong enough to fight the vampire off. He was knocked down again immediately, blood spilling out of his rapidly pumping arteries.

"What are you waiting for?", he murmured, exhausted. He was confused, when the vampire grabbed him by the collar pulling him back on his shaking feet. When he saw the dark veins under his eyes indicating his lust for Kai's blood, he frowned. Something didn't fit and while he wasn't familiar enough with vampires to fully understand their mechanisms, he was pretty sure that these creatures were real suckers for blood – pun intended – and a completely drained one like the one standing in front of him would never let a chance like this slip, just because. There had to be some other problem and he felt like it was an obvious one that he just couldn't put his finger on right now. But before he further evaluated the preposterous behavior of his opponent his eyes widened at the sight of Bonnie suddenly appearing behind him and mercilessly driving a stake through the abdomen of the man.

The vampire loosened his grip on Kai's collar and sank on his knees, panting loudly. It seemed like he wanted to say something. But before any sound could leave his lips, Bonnie already took his head between her hands and snapped his neck, the cracking of bones sending shivers through Kai's body.

"Please don't kill him", he suddenly screamed, panicking. He was breathing in spasms, everything blurred before his eyes. He almost thought that he was going to cry again but his cheeks stayed dry. She had just snapped the neck of a supernatural creature without using any magic and he had to admit that it had looked really badass. And even though he appreciated her help his emotions got the better of him, putting him in a state of shock. His entire body started to shake, he couldn't feel his fingers and toes.

"I never intended to", she replied, stunned. Her features softened, when he nodded, still confused and lost in his rambling emotions. A crease appeared between her eyebrows as she scanned his reopened wounds.

"We'll need new bandages", she murmured more to herself than to him. "I've also found a powerful healing spell but I never used it, so I'm not sure whether it's even worth a risk"

Bonnie was fully clothed, she hadn't even taken off her shoes – only her coat and purple scarf were missing.

"But first things first" He saw her pulling a big dark green bottle out of a big purse she had strapped around her shoulder. A cork prevented the liquor inside it from spilling out. She popped the bottle with a loud plopping sound and let the fluid pour over the exposed skin of the defeated vampire. It suddenly started to etch away, making the vampire jerk violently. Next up she was rummaging through her belongings again. Something stirred in Kai's mind, while she continued emptying her purse. Six little rhinestones appeared in her hands. She carefully placed them around the torpid slim body before him and afterwards lit the the candles in the room with a flick of her hands. Closing her eyes, she started to chant. Kai knew the spell. It was commonly used to put a force field around oneself to be shielded from dark magic and creatures who were trying to attack. But it was also possible to conjure it to create a magical prison, trapping an enemy inside of it. His heartbeat spiked as he started to realize that she had planned to capture the assailant long before he had attacked him.

"Have you put vervain in the pain killers?" Kai understood now and while he was too exhausted to openly show it, he was seething with anger inside. His hands were getting hot, he started to sweat. She had used him as a pawn to trap the man. That was why the vampire hadn't tried to suck him dry – he had smelled the herbs.

She gulped, hard. "Yes", she answered, lowering her eyes. "It would have been too obvious to pour a mixture of blood and vervain in a glass and wait for him to drink it", she argued, biting her lip. "He would never have fallen for that trap"

Kai clenched his fists, when she crouched above his head, inspecting the laceration. "I think you have a concussion"

He shook his head, breathing heavily. Just as she wanted to stand up to get new bandages he lightly grabbed her wrist, making her wince. He hated it when she looked at him like that – like a lamb would look at a ravenous wolf.

"Give me his blood" He nodded to the vampire, his arm was growing limp from grave blood loss and fell slack back down to his side.

Bonnie hadn't thought of that before but to implemented the idea momentarily. She made use of her advanced telekinetic abilities and pulled droplets of blood out of the gash near the stake that she had driven through the vampire's body. She let them hover in the air, before dropping them on Kai's bloodied head. His stark pain started to minimize, after she reiterated the action and a few moments later it stopped completely. They sat like this for a long time, neither of them saying a word. While he felt torn in regard of whether he should be thankful for her help or mad at her for putting him in a life threatening situation in the first place, she had the time to calm down and contemplate about what questions she would ask the unconscious man next to them to get as much information as possible, when he woke up.

"So, what now?" He broke the silence first, fixing her with a blank stare, getting up to lean back against the bookshelf. She looked at him with hooded eyes, taking two steps back to put a safe distance between the both of them. Now that he was healed, he was strong enough hurt her again. And she wouldn't want to let that happen, not just because it was important for her mission that she was healthy – it may seem shocking but there was still a crumb of self worth buried in the depth of her conscience.

When she didn't say anything, he continued, slowly. "So you almost got me killed to capture this vampire. What exactly do you need him for?"

She folded her arms in front of her chest. "It's none of your business"

He snorted angrily at that statement. "You know it may sound shocking to you, Bonbon but when I'm unknowingly playing a bait in this little game of yours, then you are obligated to tell me what the hell is going on!" His voice got surprisingly loud. It wasn't intended. And when he saw her flinch again he almost regretted being so harsh. But he had every right to be livid. Right now, he felt like he would light into anyone with the slightest provocation.

"Please, calm down-", she started but he was too lost in his indignation to listen. "Why are you here, Bonnie?", he yelled at her, his expression darkening.

"I already told you why." She held her chin up high, taking another step back.

"Yeah, right. Because me almost dying is the best way to ensure that my Coven stays alive. I'm too sober to understand this kind of logic, so let us get back to that when I'm drunk enough to believe it. Right now, I want to hear the truth." He looked menacing, ready to pull someone's head off. She was more than frightened, her entire body convulsed. An ice cold chill ran down her spine, making her shudder. She knew that she had no other choice than to tell him.

His saturnine look scared her more than it should. She shouldn't be afraid of him, because she was strong enough to handle him. And also because he _has_ changed. Elena had told her about how Kai had gotten Jeremy over to his prison world, that he had helped stopping her from killing herself. And she had seen it too, when he had been in his weakest state. Something in his mind was really beginning to shift. He wasn't the same person anymore who had stabbed her in the back and left her in the prison world of 1994. But that didn't mean that the old Kai – the sociopathic and crazy one – weren't still slumbering inside his mind. There was always a possibility of him to snap out of his identity crisis and fall back into his old ways.

"Damon's mother went on a rampage, when we were least expecting it. First, she attacked me and stole some of my blood, then she murdered many other innocent people while on the run. We lost Lillian completely when we were trying to track her down in Delaware." She sighed, wearily. "So we decided that someone had to go back here, to get information about Lillian's motivations and so I can ensure that the other vampires remain, where they belong. Imprisoned.", she admitted in the end.

"So to shorten it up a little: Angry pants' nutty mom is God knows where, because you weren't able to look after her, has already slayed a bunch of people and won't stop at anything to get her friends out of here, so they can go on a killing spree together", he concluded, nodding pensively.

"Of course, we were also worried about Jo's health, especially with her being pregnant. We were told that your death would diminish the life of every other member of the Gemini Coven. That's why I also have to make sure that you don't die in here like you almost did, when I found your half dead body covered in snow and ice. It was convenient"The simple shrug at the end of her explanation had him stunned. He understood where she came from, he got it. She wanted to kill two birds with one stone. But the simple prospect of an unborn child being involved had been what got him so bewildered in the first place. If there already had been complications due to his weak state, getting him hurt again to reach her goal must have been the most selfish thing she had ever done. Because she knew that it would have an impact on the health of his family.

"It was convenient, you say? You know, Jo must really feel lucky that solving the problem of her possible death won't be too much of a detour" He wasn't able to hide his disappointment in her. His face scrunched up painfully and he felt like screaming. And though he wanted to talk - or better yell - some sense into her, he knew that he was the last person she would listen to. Hell, he wouldn't even listen to himself, if he ever offered himself advice. How could he blame her, then? He was the last person who was allowed to judge one's behavior. "I'm tired", he told her then, moving to the stairs to find himself a bed he could sleep in. But before he ascended them he turned around one last time that night. "Next time if you need help, I will help you. But only under one condition. Don't withhold anything from me regarding my safety. I think that's a fair deal"

All she did was give him one court nod, jaw clenched, before turning around and starting to chant a protection spell from vampires on the entire Salvatore mansion of 1903, not deigning to look at him anymore.


	3. Compassion

**Lovely Bonkai-fandom,**

**I've finally found the time to write the next chapter. It's shorter than the others but I hope that you still like it. Please, let me know what you think about it! Thank you and have a good time - hopefully you do!**

The next morning Kai and Bonnie both felt very uneasy in each other's presence. As they stood before the old long table in the dining room they were consumed by many different thoughts that revolved around the seating arrangements for breakfast.

They had enough chairs – six to be precise. The problem was whether Bonnie would put space between herself and the ex-sociopath, so that they would be on opposite ends - which was very tempting - or sit beside him.

And as they walked around the brown teak table Kai knew that the witch would never decide which of the many given options would make the situation less uncomfortable. So he just sat down at one end, putting the ceramic plates down side by side, so that she had no other choice than to sit with him in close proximity.

He had grown annoyed of this little game after they had paced around the table for quite some time, her with groceries in hand that she had brought from the real world and him balancing all the flatware and glasses in his arms. He was spasming in hunger, his gut was clenching so hard that he was scared he would throw up all his organs and die if he didn't get something to eat this second.

She looked wary, attentive like a feline predator as she neared him. She seemed to be aware of everything he did – consciously and unconsciously – and everything that was happening around her after she finally had seated herself next to him.

Carefully, she put the plastic bags with food on the wooden surface.

As he began rummaging through the purchased items she cleared her throat to let him know that she had something important to say. He was obligated to listen.

"You got very thin", she stated the obvious. He had lost a lot of healthy weight since she had left him behind. But it was only logical, since he had ran through the forest for days without anything to eat. Kai was surprised that he hadn't caught a cold, when he had been drained enough to let snow melt in his hands before drinking the cool mush.

"Nice observation skills, Bonbon. That's what happens, when you haven't had a proper meal for days", he replied with an eye roll, obviously not liking the direction the conversation was taking.

Why were women allowed to talk about the heft and looks of men, while men were only permitted to hold their tongue about their counterpart. But he already knew the answer, unfortunately. The world never had been fair, it had been the first thing he's learned as a little child. When his siblings had gotten what he had craved his entire existence, just because nature had been kind to them – without a reason.

She nodded, taking his glass and pouring in orange juice. "You should drink"

On the one hand she was starting to get on his nerves with her incessant need to control everything he did – even the way he dined. One the other hand he kind of liked being taken care of. It had a homey feeling to it and the fact that it was someone he admired for their strength and boldness doing that was just another bonus, so that the action even lifted his mood a little in the end.

So he complied, hiding his dopey smile behind the glass.

"I think you have anemia", she explained, giving him a meaningful look when he shook his head.

"Many people having anemia resign to eating paper" She made a pause, trying to stay serious and decisive, cold but a smirk threatened to overtake her features. And it did, at last.

"It was the only edible thing I could find! Believe me, if there had been cornflakes with milk I would have eaten that instead" His throat felt kinda sore, his voice was hoarse and a little too high for his liking. He demonstratively poured milk over a bowl filled with delicious chocolate cereal, while she watched him with raised eyebrows. But then something dawned on him as he put the milk down, frowning.

"So you've spied on me the entire time", he drawled, biting his lower lip to stop himself from saying something nasty.

Bonnie's eyes got round as she leaned back. She shouldn't feel so ashamed of herself, of doing what she did to him. He was a monster, and he had deserved every last kick the vampire had penetrated his gut with.

But what Kai had said about Jo afterwards had felt like a thousand tiny needles in her own stomach. He was right. She knew that the members of the Coven were not only affected, when he was dying. Their lives were already in danger when Kai was on the brink of it. And if he had hit the bookshelf in the living room any harder or from another angle...She didn't want her mind to be consumed by such thoughts.

Her plan had worked. Everything had gone down just the way she had wanted. Bonnie was just doing her job, she could not let the gnawing guilt get the better of her and she had no interest in failing her friends.

"Yes, I did", she replied, closing herself off again. He could see her clenching her jaw, letting the playful smirk that had grazed her pretty features just a few seconds ago drop in an instant.

"You know. I'm kinda excited about you stalking me" Just after he had uttered the word 'stalk' he wanted to slap himself. It was hard to converse with people and be civilized, after having been imprisoned for 20 years. But socializing had never been one of his strong suits, he's always been a quite odd kid.

Kai remembered guessing the zodiac signs of strangers, when he was younger. He had been really good at it, so good that people had started to actually believe in the mechanisms of astrology. Now that he's come to think of it, Bonnie was most definitely an Aquarius: spirited, smart, loyal and inventive. But also very stubborn and aloof. Her element would be air, explaining her graze and elegance.

"You know, it's really creepy to hear you talk about my star sign, Kai", he heard her squeal next to him.

"Have I said that out loud?", he inhaled through his teeth, a flush creeping up on this cheeks.

"Yes... but still, very good analysis. I'm flattered", she chuckled, stuffing salad into her mouth and smacking loudly, while laughing.

"Oh God", he groaned, hiding his face behind his hands. "I'm so sorry, Bonnie. This is so embarrassing!" She gulped the salad down, still smiling shyly.

"I asked you to stop saying you're sorry", she told him then, standing up and taking the used dishes to the kitchen.

And when he thought that she wouldn't be able to hear him anymore, he murmured quietly. "Yeah, right. It's just that I can't help it. I'm always feeling sorry"

But she heard. And something in her chest stirred at his words. It felt strange and foreign to feel it in regards to a man, who's hurt her several times.

But as the time had passed, her vengeful thoughts were nibbling less and less at her mind. She did pity him and something swelled within her as she thought about how bad he had slept the two nights that she had stayed with him. Kai had woken her more than once, when he had been screaming and hyperventilating while having nightmares.

He was always begging for forgiveness in his dreams. It was sad, really. Because that was something she wasn't sure he would ever be able to achieve. That's why his voice would be throaty in the morning, because he used it all up the night before. With a sigh, she began washing the dishes.


	4. Mutual Understanding

**Hey fellow Bonkaiers,**  
**I just finished my latest chapter. Tell me what you think about it and whether you are excited for the upcoming episodes!**

A knot was forming in Kai's chest as he entered the living room. He could feel Bonnie's blood magic she had used for a protection spell surrounding the whole house, surging through the flawed wooden floor and creaking windows.

It was a strange sense of feeling protected. He knew how powerful she were patterns of energy sizzling in her fingertips he had never encountered or even heard of before.

He remembered that when he had taken her magic back in 1994 something malevolent had been cursing through him, something he would have never had the power to control, if he ever was in its possession. But Bonnie was vigorous. She was good. And she was growing sick of being good.

A bright light that was slowly starting to feel unbalanced. He would never say it out loud but he was becoming apprehensive of her burning desire to be free of all the boundaries that her friends were putting around her.

It was hard to admit but he was the one who was responsible for the psychical disturbance. Mentally, she was becoming diseased.

She wasn't doing it intentionally. All she was doing was trying to cope and she felt lost, because she didn't know how. Kai was sure that she had been frustrated after getting her revenge on him, because him and her being even, knowing that he would suffer, didn't help. It certainly didn't make her feel whole again.

She was still burning. Her body was burning, because she didn't want to accept the light inside her. The thing that made her special was a virus to Bonnie, a parasite.

"Tell me what you know about Lillian Salvatore" Bonnie's snarl brought him out of his trance. She had already been in here for two hours straight. And by the looks of the languid stare of the vampire – devoid of emotions – he could tell that she hadn't made any progress.

"Ok", Bonnie nodded, briefly glancing at Kai, before turning back around to meet the probing stare of the vampire with impatience. Clenching her fists she straightened herself, quietly hissing chants. The vampire screamed immediately and buried his head inside his hands. Blood pooled in his eyes, dark veins started to show on his sagged cheeks.

"You won't kill me", the vampire coughed, making Kai bite his lower lip. Maybe he was right that she wouldn't, that everything she did to him were empty threats.

He surely knew that she needed him for information, he knew that he was still of value to her and her friends.

But Kai wasn't so sure. She had changed. She was able to kill, when losing control.

Bonnie finally stopped torturing the caged vampire. Even though her back was turned to him, Kai somehow knew that her nostrils were flaring right now. She was frustrated, her hands were beginning to shake.

And if Kai didn't do anything, it was possible that she would snap very soon and let all her anger out, do something that was beyond her power. That was the last thing that he wanted. She needed to stay pure, to become stable again. Happy.

He had felt this immense guilt crawling at his nerves, after what he had done to her, putting himself to sleep only by silently promising himself that he would help keep her out of harm's way, to calm down. This – what she was doing right now – was harming her mind. It was toxic. That's why he made the decision to take it upon himself to torture the vampire and get the information that was needed for Bonnie's mission.

"I'll take it from here, Bonbon. You should go and check on your friends" Kai walked up next to her, eyeing the coughing, bloodied vampire on the floor with disdain.

She looked up surprised, watching his serious and dark expression as he looked down at her enemy. Somehow she understood. He was scared of her capabilities, anxious that her morals had been bent too much, while she had mouldered away in 1994. She could almost feel his guilt creating goosebumps on her the most astonishing part was that she understood.

He wanted to purge the constant urge to apologize, the guilt gnawing at his new-found sanity. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the intense waves of energy surging through his body. Then he took a deep breath jonesing for release. And finally he let it all out – frustrations, self-hatred and burning adrenaline – by directing it at the vampire that had almost drained him the night before.

But neither did he open his eyes, nor did he let a satisfactory grin overtake get the better of him, when he heard the low growl and panting sounds that left the lips of their prisoner. He concentrated all his magic on the head of the vampire, waiting for the barrier to the information inside to break to suck it all out.

Kai didn't care that Bonnie saw him like this, even though he craved her forgiveness and her feeling safe around him like a drug. He was sure that her seeing him being a monster and torturing people would not help him earn that.

But instead, Bonnie watched his magic create a rift in the vampire's consciousness with awe.

She had always known that Kai was powerful but she never imagined that he was capable of slipping inside people's minds with such ease. His stance was powerful, menacing even. She could see droplets of blood pouring out of his nostrils.

Something warm was encroaching on her skin now, slowly dissipating the feeling of making her flesh crawl.

She was beginning to sweat and shiver at the same time, envied the intensity of his magic. She reverenced him for his grace, the lightness of his motions in contrast with the force they had. And when she finally got out of her trance and realized that she had gazed at him for too long she immediately shook her head, blinking the haze away from her eyes, before leaving the room and shutting the door loudly behind her.

Bonnie leaned against the door breathing heavily, noticed that a hot sensation in her stomach was making her toes curl, her lips damp. She noticed that the sensations she felt were more than inappropriate, remembering all the terrible crimes Kai had committed in the past, how he had hurt her, almost killed her and left her alone.

But this Kai, the one who was helping her and craving her forgiveness was not the same person. And he was still changing, continuously wiping out the red on his ledger.

The vampire was beginning to cough blood, demolishing the carpet.

Kai was growing impatient. The undead had a stronger will than he had imagined, having put walls around his most precious secrets in order to protect them. The man had a shield to defend himself from mind games and keep Kai out of the hidden thoughts inside his head.

Tired of disappointing results the witch believed that he had to change his tactics to try to get information about Lillian that could be useful to Bonnie. So he did something terrifying.

Leaning down and shoving his arm through the invisible bars that Bonnie had put around the vampire, Kai grabbed his head, digging his nails into the man's temples to break the resistance that didn't let him inside his mind.

Suddenly an endless streak of information broke loose. Brutal memories started penetrating his mind – of blood, gore and torture. The vampire screamed, tried to wriggle himself free from Kai's grasp but the witch was too strong, his opponent too weak. And it felt as if he was living another man's life.

His own name began to seem foreign to him, left a strange, bitter taste on his tongue. Everything around him was spinning now, his fingertips were getting hot. A booming sound echoed in his tense eardrums. And he was starting to lose his balance. The vampire now crawled at his skin, tried to get him out of his thoughts with all his strength.

But Kai wouldn't stop, even if the dizziness and pain form the vampire's cuts would become unbearable. For Bonnie's sake. He would do this for Bonnie.

Her tea was getting cold but she couldn't bring herself to drink it, too shocked about the news she had hust received from Damon. He was still sitting beside her, his face buried behind his hands. She had never seen him so broken. His eyes had been lost, his voice frantic.

"She took the cure", he whispered it like he still couldn't believe it himself. Bonnie drew her eyebrows together, not sure how she was supposed to piece together what exactly Lillian's plan was.

Why would Damon's mother even want to take it? She had never seemed like the type of bloodsucker that would just throw all its enhanced abilities away for normality.

"She took the cure", he repeated. This time it seemed like he wanted to speak on but in the last moment – when he looked up, directly into her own eyes – he swallowed hard and then focused on anything but Bonnie's confused features.

She realized that he was hiding something. That there was more to this than her stealing something that he didn't want to give Elena anyway. He felt guilt. And the weight of it was terrifyingly heavy.

"Damon", she started, tentavely reaching for his lightly trembling hands. "Is there something else that you want to tell me?"

She tried to stay calm and patient. But her curiosity was hard to handle, especially when she knew that her friends were keeping something from her.

When Damon just shook his head, refusing to open his mouth, she pushed again – this time with a demanding, harsh undertone. "Damon, you are keeping secrets from me again. Just lay it out in the open, so nobody gets hurt again"

Damon gulped, instinctively reaching for the bottle of Bourbon he had placed on the table. This made the witch snap. Angrily she snatched the liquor away, eyeing him with great displeasure and hurt.

"Why are you keeping things from me again? I thought we were past that! Stop leaving me in the dark, because it doesn't help our mission."

Suddenly, Damon snapped out of his guilt, a fire reaching his eyes that she knew all too well: burning hatred.

At first, Bonnie thought it was directed at her, making her heart skip a beat. She was terrified of his expression – the veins that were starting to form under his eyes and the exposed fangs that were visible, when he bared his teeth.

"It was all her fault", he barked, aggressively clutching at the alcohol in Bonnie's hands, afterwards taking lavish gulps.

The witch blinked, trying to clear her raging thoughts. "Who's fault?"

Damon buried his face in his hands again. His mood was changing from aggressive to desperate in mere seconds.

"Caroline's"

Bonnie shook her head. When she wanted to ask why Damon continued, his eyes blazing with frustration.

"She found out about the cure, because she overheard when I told Stefan about it. Still without her humanity switch flipped back on, she got contacted by my mother. Lillian told her where I had hidden it and made a deal with Caroline. If she stole the cure for her, then Lillian would get Stefan to flip his humanity switch off again." Damon rolled his eyes. "Obviously she did steal it without anyone noticing and already gave it to my mom." Bonnie frowned at this. "What would she even want with it?"

He bit his lower lip and looked down, too lost in his own turmoil to notice her lightly touching his arm to encourage him to just tell her already.

"To force it down your mom's throat, Bon"

He looked like he was in pain just uttering the words. "She turned Abby and forced her to perform the spell to get her back to the prison world of 1903 – without the ascendant."

She wasn't sure how she could stay sober after that reveal. Right now, she didn't feel anything. Her whole body was acting on a strange mixture of instinct and rationality. Everything had to be in logical order. And one tiny part of the puzzle was still missing. She couldn't piece it together. "But she doesn't need my mother, because she is in the possession of my blood. All she needed was an ordinary witch"

Damon nodded, his face scrunching up with anger. "Caroline also overheard me telling Stefan that you put a protection spell around the house"

Her eyes got round, he mouth dropping open. That was it, the last tiny piece she had needed.

"A blood spell", she gasped, pulling the ascendant out of her back pocket and biting down hard onto her forefinger. Droplets of blood started to spill onto the surface of the antique machinery.

"Bonnie, you are not going back there alone"

Damon tried to reach for her but she had already created a force field around herself, so that he wasn't able to touch her or the ascendant.

"It's already too late, Damon. Lillian will come back with her ripper friends and you need to stay put, so you'll be able to defeat them. Everyone needs to be save", she reasoned with him, her voice almost cracking, because she was so scared.

But Damon had other plans. "But what about you? You need to be safe too! Stay here", he screamed at her, his fists colliding with the invisible wall she had put around herself.

"I need to get back to Kai. He is in danger!" And then she was gone, travelling through dimensions to land in the snowy forest of 1903 again.


End file.
